St Agatha’s School for Blind Dwarves pulled out from their scheduled game with the Huskers, at the last moment, because of a nasty COVID outbreak, so Nebraska had to find a new opponent.

Fordham, soundly trounced by St Agatha’s Fighting Possums last week, agreed to accept the standard $10 million payoff from the Huskers, SOO the 12 person team showed up just before kickoff, after their 46 hour bus ride, although most of the team had picked up nasty cases of Rwandan Retching Disease along the way.

The Fordham team, (bet you can’t guess where the school is located) played respectably, considering several of the post-menopausal women on the team have severe scoliosis and the Nebr trainers stole their braces after the first drive. The fact that the entire team contracted salmonella from the discount ‘Oyster/Sushi Surprise’ at Carl’s Conoco Cafe, on the second day of travel didn’t help.

All things considered, including the convulsive tremors and explosive diarrhea from the Fordham line that plays both ways, Nebraska didn’t pull away until the hometown refs started calling fifty yard penalties on the poor Possums, each time one of them passed out. And most of them did.

The decisive play for the Shuckers came when the Possums could field only 2 players for the second half kickoff and the Big Red Machine managed a score, and the lead, three plays later.

When neither of Fordhams last two wheelchair bound players could answer the bell for the Fourth Quarter, and the spunky Huskers got a field goal on fourth down, the Fordham student manager took the check for ten mil and loaded all the feverish, vomiting Possoms on the bus, Nebr then elected to go for it on fourth down and one, but fell eight yards short and the final score was 52-7

The bruised and battered Huskers refuse, as a team, to play the Fordham Possoms next year, so the call is out to St Agatha’s, IF they can field 11 dwarves, although the Twisted Sister who runs St Aggies has been known to substitute third graders when she’s running short of blind dwarves.

Stay tuned as Herbies Huskers play another school that no one knew existed, so the Big Red Boys  can claim a W and St Aggies can use the $10 mil from Nebraska to fund the school for blind dwarves another year. Win-win.