In an effort to appeal to the sheep,
who are SO easily fooled, T. Rump had a plan....
Last weekend the media (including the Times – see link below) reported that uber-evangelist James Dobson (who founded the rigidly-conservative Focus on the Family organization decades ago) announced that he was personally close to sources who participated in the recent “born again” conversion of Donald J. Trump. Dobson then pronounced that Trump, while no angel, was now a “baby Christian” (yep, you just can’t make this stuff up).
Last weekend the media (including the Times – see link below) reported that uber-evangelist James Dobson (who founded the rigidly-conservative Focus on the Family organization decades ago) announced that he was personally close to sources who participated in the recent “born again” conversion of Donald J. Trump. Dobson then pronounced that Trump, while no angel, was now a “baby Christian” (yep, you just can’t make this stuff up).
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Trump's Bid to Become
Born-Again Fails as Jesus Turns Down Friend Request
By Andy Borowitz,
The New Yorker
29 June
16
The billionaire Donald
J. Trump’s bid to become a born-again Christian failed over the weekend after
Jesus Christ turned down his friend request, campaign officials have
acknowledged.
Jesus, who has not
generally been active on Facebook, made a rare appearance on the social network
on Monday to announce His decision to ignore the presumptive Republican
nominee’s request for a personal relationship with Him.
In a brief post,
Jesus offered the following explanation: “Just everything.”
Privately, campaign
staffers fretted that the candidate would pen a disparaging tweet about Jesus,
which might alienate evangelical voters in key battleground
states.
But, at a rally in
Pennsylvania, Trump made no reference to Jesus, and instead touted endorsements
he had received from Gary Busey, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Joe (the Plumber)
Wurzelbacher. All is well in sheep world.
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