In Koch Sucker news,
Saying that “things
just didn’t work out,” the billionaire Koch brothers have decided to put
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker up for sale.
The Kochs, who
earlier had purchased Gov. Walker with great fanfare, announced their plan
to sell the politician in a terse statement from Koch Industries headquarters in
Wichita.
“Scott Walker is a
fine individual, and we wish him well,” the Kochs’ statement read. “We are
confident that he will be a good fit for some other billionaire
industrialists.”
Republican insiders,
however, called the Kochs’ plan to sell Walker highly optimistic, and noted that
the market for the Wisconsin Governor was, at this point, virtually
nonexistent.
The Kochs, who
reportedly had been frustrated by Walker’s poor performance in the polls,
finally decided to sell the Wisconsinite after last weekend’s odd pronouncement,
in which he seemed to support a border wall with Canada.
According to a Koch
associate, “Ignorance has always been a part of Scott’s appeal, but that
Canada thing was just too much.”
After their plan to
sell him was announced, the Kochs immediately pulled Walker off the campaign
trail for fear that he might say something that would further reduce his
dwindling market value.
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