According to Steven Colbert,

who does get serious, and reports 'non-fake' news, sometimes, Trump is having trouble, 'Bigly', in finding talent to perform at his inauguration. That includes local high school marching bands, a staple in the Wash DC area on Inauguration Day. None of them have agreed to march.
Also, unless Scott Baio steps up, none of the Hollywood A-listers have agreed to perform, although there have been several denials, incl Elton John, and other bands who have said, STOP using our music. Wow, who da thunk?
At last report, and as a last resort, the Trump kids are forming a Jug Band.

I'm thinking maybe a Ku Klux Klan march, lead by the Grand Wizard. They LOVE him....

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