Contrary to popular opinion, getting old isn't ALL bad,

just MOSTLY bad, as our bodies succumb to gravity, decades of bad habits and just plain 'high mileage'. BUT, being 'older' has some advantages, as in getting FICA payments back, instead of paying in, not having to get out of bed, (before you'd like), and heading off to a JOB. Also, you have more time to reflect, which is good and bad, as you think about some of your 'less than ideal' words and actions over the years. There was a time I'd let some of my 'former life' memories get me down, BUT, I finally realized there is no use worrying about stuff you can't change. Ideally, you can learn from past mistakes, and not repeat them, but that's no reason to beat yourself up.
Also, I finally realized that the same personality traits, that I was BORN with, getting DNA from both folks (pretty good DNA, by the way), shaped me in good/bad ways. And the same competitive spirit that gave me the confidence of a good athlete (thinking/knowing I was better than my opponent, which is at least half the battle), got me in trouble, as I had a sort of 'lack of humility', coupled with a 'lack of patience', which isn't always ideal in personal relationships. Anyway, I finally realized that the same quirks, mainly CONFIDENCE, that is SO important in life, and made me 'good', in some areas, (and helped in being successfully 'self-employed' nearly my entire life), also made me 'bad', in others. Not asking for sympathy or forgiveness, from myself or others, rather just understanding, as my old brain tries to 'come to grips' with my life, so far. As Popeye said, 'I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam', and looking back on my life, taking it as a 'whole', it becomes easier to understand/accept who/what/where/why I am, in the autumn of my life, which I am enjoying, every day, esp since I made good decisions (and got lucky), concerning spouse and family, that is the MOST important part of life.
PS Some of this soul searching, that I'm not sure I should be sharing (but hey, this is my diary here, for the 'rocking chair years', when I'll probably need to kickstart my memories) has come about after watching the Sinatra special,  last night, and thinking about how fast time flies and one of my fave songs of his, 'It Was A Very Good Year'.
The best thing about my blog is 'dumping' stuff (like how much I hate FOXNews, for fooling vulnrable/naive types) here, so I don't have to bother others with political BS, and it provides a repository for storing memories. After doing this for nearly ten years, I can look back and recall 'good times' that I had totally forgotten. I figure by the time I get REALLY old (God willing) it'll be like reading a book for the first time, with a few 'Aha!' moments....